The mourning…grieving…whatever you want to call it.  Part of me is scared that if I take this time and distance from him that when i do have communication with him again I will feel anger and disgust. I dont want that. At the same time I cant be in constant contact either. I’m screwed either way.  I dont know what to do, you would think I would have some sort of direction but I have nothing.  So I will sit and wait for God to figure this out because I have no clue.