Poetical Randomness

She is quiet
He is caring
They are happy
You are not pleased

She smiles
He laughs
They love
You hate

She’s finding peace
He’s settling in
They are in sync
You mad

She rides
He drives
They talk
You’re left wondering

She writes
He reads
They share
You …don’t matter


A-B-C 1-2-3….

what the hell is wrong with me? My life is like a daily ride on the worst roller coaster at Six Flags. Maybe its hormones, but I swear I just want to go and sit in my closet and not be bothered. I dont and wont take any hormones to replace the ones that I might be missing due to my thyroid surgery. I’m trying to lessen the chances of cancer at all costs.
In other random news…the new year has come and I swear if ONE MORE PERSON says Happy New Year to me at work I’m going to scream and go out on medical leave.
For some really crazy reason I feel like I need a new Beyonce album…like tomorrow. Beyonce, Justin Timberlake and Dondria. Now if that aint random I dont know what is. Oh and if you havent joined Global14 already what the hell are you waiting on? http://www.global14.com
Tell em Kandi sent ya!

Which is worse…the Open relationship debate reignites

So I figured with only one day left in 2010 why not kick some shit off. Yall know me…:) So my question to you readers is this: Let’s say you’re with your man for 5, 10, 15, 20 years…is it plausible to think he wont cheat? Or an even better question, do you think he can ONLY have sex with you and be truly happy? I’ve had convos with some of my male compadres over the last few weeks and made my stance on this pretty clear. Some were shocked and some were like…oh, wow….tell me more about this. LOL

I look at it like this, I dont care if you have sex with another chick…BUT I need to know about it, AND i need to approve her. There are certain rules involved in undertaking this type of mission. I know some of you are saying…why get in a relationship if you are just going to cheat. I would ask that you take a moment and be honest with yourself, if your man cheats on you what are you the most upset about? The act or the lies that came with it? Don’t worry, I’ll wait. Done thinking, yeah ok so back to what I was saying. There are rules to this…and men PLLLLLLLLLLEASEEEEE know that these rules apply to me too.

Some might say it wont work in a marriage and I might say you are right, BUT I dont plan on getting married….I want that Stedman and Oprah shit. You committed to me and I’m committed to you, what the law got to do with our love?

Just some food for thought…discuss….please 🙂 Merry New Year!!!

I see you with ya lookin ass!

Is it possible for an attention whore to get too much attention?  The light shines so bright that it blinds your eyes…burns your skin…its simply too much.  I thought that this “vacation” would give me ample time to decompress and figure out some pressing matters in my life.  Little did I know I would walk into a whole shitload of other problems.  There is so much on my brain right now, I cant even begin to start.  One thing I know for sure…I dont want you in my business anymore.  Who? YOU…no, not you…you’re cool. YOU.  Why I’m even talking to you, I dont know. You dont even know these megabytes exist on the internet.

I used to think it was cute when he, him and that other dude would read certain things I posted on the internet.  I knew I would get a message or a call and I would think…oh he cares.  Now, I dont want it. I dont need it.  I realize now that was a bit manipulating on my part and I never wanted to be that chick.  She’s not cute.  She’s insecure and needy.  I am NOT that chick.  So the access has been denied, calls unanswered, texts ignored.  You go your way and I’ll go mine.  I just dont want to live my life that way anymore.  I can’t say I want my life a certain way and do the complete opposite. That shit dont make sense.

Sometimes Facebook Status messages can be right on time

Thanks Daphne…

Even though YOU may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be FREE we must learn how to let GO. Release the hurt, Release to entertain your old pain. The ENERGY it takes to hang onto the past is holding YOU back from a NEW LIFE.. Ask yourself “What would you let go of TODAY”? Live Life!

No Boys Allowed!!!

Like I have stated before THIS IS NOT A MUSIC BLOG….but I figured since her album came out today and it relates to what I wanted to blog about…why not?  I did a brief preview of this album and even if I am not a fan of her grammatical ignorance (beated on…really?) or her violent pelvic thrusts and f list actors in her video this is probably the most cohesive album of the year.  No boys allowed has a theme and it sticks with it.  You can tell this is the “after we broke up” album.  I really want to be on Team Keri but she makes it so hard.  I struggle with artists who don’t present themselves as authentic. 

I went through that listening to and watching Kandi’s videos and album last week.  In the words of my favorite tweeter @KemDotLifer “I don’t know that stranger bitch”. LOL Kandi’s album was so disjointed and melodically unstimulating…but I digress…this aint about her. It is however a nice segue into this blog which is supposed to be about me.

Parts of me want to say “ok that’s it, I’m closing up shop…NO BOYS ALLOWED” but they are so cute…and they have penises.  Kinda like Lay’s, you can’t have just one.  Oops that was a little hoish of me to say wasn’t it?  My bad….anywho let me stop stalling and get to the point.  I have made up my mind that 2011 is going to be a better year for me, at least relationship wise.  2010 was a clusterfuck into ambiguity. 

That ambiguity was not just one sided from the Captain…I threw a bunch of mixed assed signals myself this year.  Those mixed signals have once again placed me at a crossroads where I have 3 distinct paths I can take. 

One, that I am familiar with but it tends to go in circles and stops at a familiar hotel everytime. My companion on this path has pulled out the GPS and asked, you wanna go with me?

Two, this one starts and ends at another hotel, except now my companion wants to venture out into the sunshine.

Three, totally unfamiliar but surprisingly refreshing.  I see a gang of potholes on the path that could potentially fuck up my tires and alignment…IF it is not navigated properly.

Choices and decisions…..so hard. I am really trying to make the right ones this time.

Ambiguous enough? lol Merry new year!!!

I’m too old for this shit

You ever get to a stage in your life where you just say on a somewhat daily basis….you know what, I’m too old for this shit!  Yeah, well I’m there. I promise you over the last 2 weeks I have had to deal with some super outlandish shit.  It’s almost as if I am living in an alternate universe.  The shit that comes out of peoples mouths astonishes me sometimes…fuck that ALL THE TIME.  Sometimes I feel like saying, you do realize I’m sitting here right?  Talking to ME about ME right? LOL  I guess that’s the price you pay for filling your life with quantity instead of quality.  Well its a new day and the trash is being taken out.  I said I would start fresh on 1.1.11, but why wait?  Time to get these MF’s out the door NOW.  The one thing I hate more than anything is expectations.  Thats one of the reasons Oprah said she didnt get married.  Being married comes with certain expectations.  I hate when people have expectations of me and get mad when I’m not who they want me to be. FUCK.THAT.

It’s kind of like me expecting the Diddy-Dirty Money album to be good, when I KNOW he sucks.  LOL Why set myself up for that kind of disappointment.

The only expectations I have of people is that they are going to be who they are.  They have showed and told me…and i have duly noted.  Happy Saturday!